November 2012
2 posts
Just had an INSANE working in the woods by myself. Skyclad and all. (Hopefully the neighbors have learned to stop looking by now.) I’m not going into detail about what’s been going on with me lately, but ever since Samhain I just haven’t been myself due to a series of unpleasant encounters. Let’s just leave it at that. But I think I’ve finally taken care of it today. My...
October 2012
4 posts
1 tag
“Impossible is possible tonight. Believe in me as I believe in you…tonight.”
1 tag
My life is insane right now. Between two jobs and full-time classes, I’m a little overscheduled. Granted, one of those jobs requires full zombie make-up, chasing dozens of people nightly, and getting blasted to smithereens with paintballs (when they can catch me =}) but it all adds up to equal not much free time.
But it’s great, I really can’t complain.
Something I do wanna complain...
September 2012
3 posts
Waiting on my girlio to PLEASE get done with her shower rituals we can get on with our last devoted weekend together.
Next weekend: I will be a blood covered, white-eyed, flesh craving zombie, chasing down trailers full of unsuspecting people who will attempt to shoot me to save their sorry lives. =}
‘Tis the season, suckers.
And of course Christian was even more mind blowing than I thought he’d be. It took me a minute to get used to his transformation, but he was awesome. I couldn’t help but overhear an audience member next to me talking about “what a beautiful job she was doing” — I had to let the lady know that was my twin up there. =] I was very proud. How he managed to sing and...
Getting ready for dinner with the family, then we’re all heading over to see Christian in “Rent”. Mom, Dad, and Fletch already saw it last night, but this will all be a big surprise for me. I’m kind of excited. And also really proud. My brother is so freaking talented in pretty much everything he does.
I would say it’s been a really great weekend so far. Last...
August 2012
4 posts
2 tags
“Never mind about the shape I’m in. I’ll keep you safe tonight. Move your body when the sunlight dies. Everybody, hide your body from the scarecrow. Everybody, hide…”
The first week of school has sort of kicked my butt. I got into some weird habits this summer that must be done away with VERY soon. =P
So many words scattered across the pages….all leading to the same thing: am I a better person than I was a year ago? Am I in a better place? Or is it all the same, just new faces, an old story retold?
I like to think I’m better off today. But when I think hard about it, I’m just not sure. I do equally stupid things. My emotions have stabilized some, but the bad days are...
July 2012
5 posts
1 tag
“Take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.” -Elie Wiesel
Again, stolen from Sam on a lazy quiet night =)
1. Are looks important in a relationship? No, not IN a relationship. Initial attraction is obviously important, but that has nothing to do with the actual relationship.
2. Are relationships ever worth it? I used to ask myself that a lot. But I believe they are.
3. Are you a virgin? No.
4. Are you in a relationship? Yes.
5. Are you in love? I...
Hurting someone’s feelings is the worrrrrrst. Straight torture. But sadly enough, if I don’t do it, it could get out of control. I’ve been down this road before. =P Yes, I’m a drama king. And freaking proud of it.
I miss Alaska so much already. But I sure love my bed =]
June 2012
5 posts
To my Dad—for being the most awesome one ever!! For sitting with me through my roughest piercings and my tattoo. For never looking at the clock when our conversations were lasting far into the night. For always getting in trouble WITH me. =) And for always forgiving my stupidity and never holding it over my head later. You’re the coolest dad out there, and none of us would ever trade you for...
30 Unknown Facts…Stolen from Sam cuz I can’t sleep tonight =)
When was the last time you shaved your legs? Haha…wouldn’t you like to know.
What were you doing this morning at 8? Walking out my front door.
What were you doing 15 minutes ago? Saying goodnight to my dad as I got a snack.
What are you wearing right now? Well I’m in bed, soooooo. NUFFIN.
Are you mad at anyone...
1 tag
“The boys and girls in the clique, the awful names that they stick.
You’re never gonna fit in much, kid.
But if you’re troubled and hurt, what you got under your shirt
Will make ‘em pay for the things that they did….”
May 2012
1 post
It’s been a while since I’ve been here. I’ve done some really stupid things these past couple of weeks, but today’s a new day. A day to start over completely. My first full day of being 20. And I’m determined to make it great.
This past weekend, my family and friends threw my brother and me a huge surprise birthday party. It was freaking amazing, and I honestly still can’t get over all that...
April 2012
10 posts
Realizations
I haven’t shut my bedroom door once since the night you cut me off from the rest of the world. We burned the bed as soon as they would let us, but it didn’t burn away the memories.
The sound of rain drumming against my window will forever remind me of the storm that drowned my voice.
The smell of alcohol, and the taste of whiskey, will only make me think of you.
Most nights I can...
“Another loose cannon gone bi-polar, slipped down, couldn’t get much lower.
Quicksand’s got no sense of humor. I’m still laughing like hell.
You think that by crying to me, looking so sorry,
that I’m gonna believe you’ve been infected by a social disease.
Well then, take your medicine…
I created the sound of madness, wrote the book on pain.
Somehow I’m still here to explain
...
They’ll tell you that no one will blame you, that it wasn’t your fault, that you couldn’t have changed the course of things. But what they won’t tell you is, people damn you every day with their thoughtless words, their frivolous and ignorant gestures. Their judgment will cut through what’s left of you, leaving you to bleed it out—just in case there was a fragment that still needed...
I’d give anything to learn how to turn it off…how to make your voice stop. But I’ll never be strong enough. My only prayer is that no one will ever have to understand what I’m feeling right now.
1 tag
March 2012
2 posts
1 tag
“Waiting for the end to come,
Wishing I had strength to stand.
This is not what I had planned.
It’s out of my control.
Flying at the speed of light.
Thoughts were spinning in my head.
So many things were left unsaid.
It’s hard to let you go.
I know what it takes to move on.
I know how it feels to lie.
All I wanna do is trade this life for something new.
Holding on to what I haven’t...
Pretty well every day, I wish I had responded differently to something. It’s something that has plagued me since I was a kid. I’m very spontaneous and usually my response to any situation is immediate. But as quickly as I jump on that, I regret most (if not all) of it, and wish I had dealt with the issue some other way. So much that it can take weeks, months, sometimes even years to get it out...
February 2012
10 posts
I just went downstairs and found my mom doing yoga, and my little 2-year-old sister imitating her. It was soooo cute. It reminds me of my need to get myself into shape though. I have a serious lack of anything going on with my body. One of my friends is going to kick my butt into shape soon. Maybe I should start that this week…
“Hush little baby, don’t say a word.
And never mind that noise you heard.
It’s just the beast under your bed.
In your closet, in your head.”
I’ve literally laid around my house all weekend, sort of in a zombie trance. No matter how hard I fight it, this time of year always gets to me. It’s not quite that time, but it almost is. So that horrible anticipation always washes over me, paralyzing me. Friday night was the worst one I’ve had in a long time. I was having nightmares, and when I woke up I couldn’t breathe. I thought someone was...
Oh what am I waiting for?
-Goes in for the raspberry dark chocolate-
-Finds it’s not so bad-
-Consumes all raspberry dark chocolate-
January 2012
17 posts
So it’s done and over with. I finally ended the relationship today, not out of spite or rage or anything else, but just because we’ve sort of gone our separate ways. This is one of my only—if not THE only—relationships I’ve been in that’s ever ended amicably. I’m sad about it, but for once I don’t feel like my heart’s been ripped out of my...
Yesterday my dad and I ditched school and work and went hiking at an amazing State Park instead. I really needed some quiet time away from everything and everyone, just to clear my head and create some calmness in my life. The truth is, things are alright but not ideal right now. I’ve had a lot of dread lately, like some kind of storm looms on the horizon. I try to ignore thoughts like that, and...
Useless information =)
Because I’m procrastinating homework…….
-What is the wallpaper on your phone?-
A picture of me and my baby sister last Samhain
-Are you mad at anyone right now?-
Not really.
-Who was the last person you took a picture with?-
My big brother. We were having too much fun.
-Are you wearing a ring, if so who gave it to you?-
Not at the moment.
-Do you like the...
